Why is your lens missing?

Last week I met a mate for lunch . When I arived he was wearing sunglasses - but missing the left lens. I asked him rather obtusely what was that about and he said he used the specs for riding his bike , and then said something about bi - focals . I left it at that , and he continued to stare out of his specs - with one eye behind the glass , the other not , as if nothing was wrong at all!

The waitress came bye and asked directly - why is your lens missing. No it's not! he said - yes it is I said! He took it off and much to his shagrin - he saw what we had both seen . I cant believe it he said ! I never saw that! 

So - I am sharing this because he is a pretty intellegent , comprehensive thinking guy - with many wise insights to lifes complexities! ( I think!), and so .. it got me thinking (again), what dangerous assumptions could I make about a man who cant see that he is missing a lens out of his glasses? And then - after making that assumption, how would my judgements affect how I interacted with him, or the story I make up about how he meets the world, or might meet my world!

Thing is you see, the glasses just became a metaphore for me , of all the things I dont know that im not seeing, literally staring me in the face.

I was reminded again that my assumptions would be incorrect , and that in that moment that Mark took off his glasses and surprised us all , by his genuine not knowing, I was witnessing a rare but beautifull thing. That is that, most often we don't get told what we may be missing, especially if we are alone! and ... that it used to be so hard for me to acknowledge that I was wrong about something. Well - what a great gift that has become for me!

At this time in my life I would much rather treat those occasions with a sense of wonderment and appreciation , humor and acceptance .Why? because it shows me again and again how little I know, how vulnerable I am, and yes that can be scary! And, more potently than all that... it opens a wide window into the possibility of all that I don't yet know , all that I have closed myself off to , all the opportunities and surprises that continue to renew my life again and again!

Heres to more of that !.....

Just thought I'd share that with you ...! 

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Ilana Wetzler

It's the type of album that makes you take a deep breath as the first song starts - and you slowly let it out as each song dances over the next - so that by the time it's done, you're left speechless and ready to breathe again...